DICKMATIZED

Meet Anya: thirty-something, Nigerian-British, financially secure, emotionally intelligent (on paper), and proudly in control until Jude shows up. Six foot two, beard sculpted by angels, and absolutely no long-term potential. What follows is a hilarious, no-holds-barred spiral into emotional chaos, where logic taps out and lust taps in.

Written and directed by Oneikeh Campbell, DICKMATIZED is not your average tale of heartbreak. It is a brutally funny, emotionally honest, and painfully familiar deep-dive into modern dating delusion,  where the D is dangerous and your therapist is probably already booked.

Expect laugh-out-loud confessions, Attenborough-style voiceovers, and enough truth to make you text your ex… then immediately block them.

“Anya is the chaotic best friend and the voice in your head  all rolled into one.”

What to expect:– A wild ride through dating disasters and self-deception– Smart, theatrical comedy with a strong Nigerian-British flavour– A whip-smart heroine who knows better… but still goes back for one more round

This is not a love story. It is a post-mortem in heels. Anya is done playing nice.Are you ready to confront your red flags or are you still, maybe… just a little bit… dickmatized?

Cast & Creatives

Oneikeh Campbell

Produced by Done Louder Productions

Date & Time: Friday 24th October @7pm

Running Time:  60mins

Content warnings: This show contains strong language, adult themes, and frank discussions of sex, dating and heartbreak It also includes references to modern dating culture, gender politics, and may induce flashbacks to your most chaotic situationship.

Recommended for ages 16+. (Trigger warning: unsolicited “wyd?” texts and dangerously charming men in white trainers.) 

The show contains strobe lighting, loud moaning (contextual), sexy delusion, emotional whiplash, and one deeply regrettable voice note.

Latecomers may not be admitted. ​Ticket purchases are non refundable.

Concession prices apply to students; under 18s; pensioners; those on disability and unemployment benefits; Equity, BECTU & SDUK members.